The Skill of Reviving the Heart
At the recent denominational conference, while listening to Pastor Michael Hendrickson, author of The Other Half of Church, I learned about a method for caring for people’s hearts called the “VCR technique.” I’d like to introduce it because I believe it will be helpful if everyone knows it and applies it during sharing time in house church meetings.
1. Validate (Empathise as They Are): A person’s heart opens when someone empathises with their emotions just as they are. Generally, when someone shares a struggle, if we jump in with solutions right away, it can actually cause their heart to close. What a hurting person needs first is not an answer, but a word of empathy. Expressions like: “That must have been really hard for you.” “Anyone would feel upset in that situation.” These simple words of empathy are the first key to opening someone’s heart. So, during the house church sharing time, the first thing we should do is not to analyse the problem or give solutions, but to empathise with the person.
2. Console (Warmly Comfort): The word “console” goes beyond simple comfort—it conveys the meaning, “You are not alone.” If “Validate” is the step that opens the door of the heart, “Console” is what helps the opened heart remain under God’s comfort. Words like: “God is right beside you even now.” “You are not alone. We are all here with you.” These reassure the person of God’s presence and their place in the community, helping their heart settle and enabling them to hold onto God.
3. Repattern (Creating a New Path for the Heart): Human emotions tend to flow in familiar directions, like water following a well-worn stream. Those who carry many wounds may find their emotions easily flowing toward suspicion, anxiety, blame, or avoidance. “Repattern” helps these emotional streams flow in a healthier direction. This is not about forced positivity—it is something only possible after sufficient empathy and comfort have stabilised the heart. Questions like: “What might God be trying to do through this situation?” “From another angle, what might there be to learn?” Such questions gently shift the emotional flow and open up new perspectives. Through this process, a wounded heart can begin to heal, and someone who once blamed others may begin seeing themselves through God’s eyes.
If we keep these words in mind and put them into practice during every house church meeting, it will become an opportunity for those with heavy hearts to experience the love of the community and the presence of God.
Word of the week
We're not perfect. Sometimes there are misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and broken hearts. But what makes a community beautiful isn't its lack of flaws, but the presence of people willing to embrace our wounds and vulnerabilities and stay together until the very end.
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이동주 2025.11.22 21:03
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At the recent denominational conference, while listening to Pastor Michael Hendrickson, author of The Other Half of Church, I learned about a method for caring for people’s hearts called the “VCR technique.” I’d like to introduce it because I believe it will be helpful if everyone knows it and applies it during sharing time in house church meetings.
1. Validate (Empathise as They Are): A person’s heart opens when someone empathises with their emotions just as they are. Generally, when someone shares a struggle, if we jump in with solutions right away, it can actually cause their heart to close. What a hurting person needs first is not an answer, but a word of empathy. Expressions like: “That must have been really hard for you.” “Anyone would feel upset in that situation.” These simple words of empathy are the first key to opening someone’s heart. So, during the house church sharing time, the first thing we should do is not to analyse the problem or give solutions, but to empathise with the person.
2. Console (Warmly Comfort): The word “console” goes beyond simple comfort—it conveys the meaning, “You are not alone.” If “Validate” is the step that opens the door of the heart, “Console” is what helps the opened heart remain under God’s comfort. Words like: “God is right beside you even now.” “You are not alone. We are all here with you.” These reassure the person of God’s presence and their place in the community, helping their heart settle and enabling them to hold onto God.
3. Repattern (Creating a New Path for the Heart): Human emotions tend to flow in familiar directions, like water following a well-worn stream. Those who carry many wounds may find their emotions easily flowing toward suspicion, anxiety, blame, or avoidance. “Repattern” helps these emotional streams flow in a healthier direction. This is not about forced positivity—it is something only possible after sufficient empathy and comfort have stabilised the heart. Questions like: “What might God be trying to do through this situation?” “From another angle, what might there be to learn?” Such questions gently shift the emotional flow and open up new perspectives. Through this process, a wounded heart can begin to heal, and someone who once blamed others may begin seeing themselves through God’s eyes.
If we keep these words in mind and put them into practice during every house church meeting, it will become an opportunity for those with heavy hearts to experience the love of the community and the presence of God.
Word of the week
We're not perfect. Sometimes there are misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and broken hearts. But what makes a community beautiful isn't its lack of flaws, but the presence of people willing to embrace our wounds and vulnerabilities and stay together until the very end.